15 things I wish my 18 year old self would have known.

For a number of reasons, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking and reflecting over the past several weeks, and this piece has been a work in progress for a seemingly endless number of days now. Without sharing too much detail or background (and without really needing to), I’ve come up with this — a short start to a list of things I wish I had known sooner in life. Some of these would have served me well in high school, others are certainly better suited for my college self. And others are still things I find myself reflecting on and reminding myself of on a daily basis. Whatever you want to call it, I’ve had an overwhelming desire to share… 

1. Your parents are people too. They’re also full of wisdom and humor. Let them share what they know… at the end of the day, you don’t have to take their advice, but you’ll probably learn something really great about one or both of them that you didn’t know. Listen.

2. Mistakes will happen and no matter how bad they seem at the time, there’s always a light at the end of the tunnel. Oh, and it’s OK to ask for help from others. No matter what, just keep moving.

3. Men should not ever (EVER) define you. They can only do so if you let them.

4. Friendships change and grow. Sometimes you grow closer, and other times you grow apart. Both are good things and it’s important to embrace the change in these relationships. Just because you and a friend grow apart as you get older, that doesn’t discount the relationship you once had. Remember that.

5. There are different types of love. Recognize this, embrace the concept and appreciate ALL of the different types of love you have in your life.

6. It’s OK to say no. To taking on too much. To doing something you’re not ready for. To peer pressure… to whatever you feel like you need to say no to. You might feel embarrassed or unsure at the time, but it’s important to learn to trust your head and your heart. This will serve you well later in life.

7. Life really is short, and can change in an instant. This DOESN’T mean you’ve got a free pass to act like an idiot just because “you never know what’s right around the corner.” Embrace life and the people in it.

8. When you love someone, tell them. When someone makes you angry, tell them. When someone does something you appreciate, tell them. Say thank you and I love you too often. Really, just say what’s on your mind and say what you MEAN. Don’t leave things up for interpretation. It doesn’t usually end well.

9. Say yes more than you say no. It’s amazing what kind of opportunities open up in life when you just say yes.

10. Respect is a universal language.

11. Sometimes, slowing down is good. And necessary. Embrace this.

12. You cannot change and control everything. There’s chaos and total beauty in that. Own it, and know that sometimes you just have to let it go. 

13. People lie, and not everyone is always good. That doesn’t mean people are inherently bad, and trying to see and appreciate the best in people in life is much easier (and more fun, I think) than searching for the worst in people.

14. At some point in your life, someone you love is going to hurt you. Forgive them. Don’t forget what it taught you, but holding on to hurt and anger just continues to hurt you… and it’s exhausting.

15. Faith is an incredibly personal thing, and it’s OK to question where you stand as you grow and try to figure out who you are in life. Ask questions. Pray. Read. Ask more questions. Wherever you end up is your choice, and at the end of the day, that’s all that matters.

 

What I’m Reading: And The Mountains Echoed

And the mountains echoed

With a crazy work schedule and the holiday season just behind me, it’s been a few months since I’ve had the chance to finish a book (at least one that I’ve thought was worth writing about after). Hosseini’s first book, The Kite Runner, is one of my favorite stories and I was anxious to get my hands on this — as I expected, his work did not disappoint. This captivating and complex story about finding a lost piece (or pieces) of yourself in someone else, had me in tears before I had finished the first chapter.

In nearly every chapter and story line that run throughout the book, love is tested, pain is inflicted and the boundaries of patience are pushed. It grapples with many of the same themes that crisscross his other novels: the relationship between parents and children, and the ways the past can haunt the present. Page by page, chapter through chapter you uncover deeper insights about each of his characters and their lives, and finish the book with an intimate understanding of who his characters are and how they’ve defined themselves over the years through the choices they have made between duty, freedom, familial responsibilities and independence, etc.

Hosseini is one of my favorite authors and this book was by far my favorite of his to read. If you haven’t already, check it out. You won’t regret it.

xoxo

Reflection.

As I sit curled up with my coffee on this first day of 2014, I can’t help but reflect on all that happened in 2013. This past year has been quite a roller coaster ride that brought with it lots of laughter and love, new challenges and adventures and some terrible tragedy and heartbreak.

It simply amazes me, year after year, just how much can change in just twelve short months.

These past twelve months have taught me that I’ve got more strength and determination than I had ever realized or could have hoped for, and that I’m blessed beyond measure with beautiful friends who inspire me, challenge me and support me every day and in every way imaginable. I’ve realized that the only person who was holding me back from getting what I want was me, and that if I continue to underestimate myself, others will too. For the first time in many years, I feel completely comfortable in my own skin and totally confident in the direction my life is headed. This past year, I started new personal and professional adventure that have already proven to be far more than I had hoped for. I’m challenged, excited and surprised every single day and I couldn’t be more thankful for those who I get to share this journey with. I saw new love blossom and old love be challenged, grow and flourish beyond expectations, restoring my faith in lifelong love and the human spirit, in some ways. I celebrated with friends as they started families (or welcome second or third babies to the world) and have loved every chance that I’ve had to spend with them and their beautiful little boys and girls. Unfortunately, this past year I also cried with friends who have experienced unimaginable loss. The loss of a loved one, young or old, is never easy but the grace and strength I witnessed from friends and family during these difficult times was something that I still can’t seem to find the words for. I can, however, say that I’m incredibly blessed to have such strong, graceful and loving people in my life year after year.

Through all the ups and downs, the love and loss, perhaps the biggest takeaway from 2013 was this: to simply love with all that you have and trust completely that God has a wonderful plan in place for your life.

I may not know what his plan is or exactly how I’m supposed to get there, but I do know that 2014 is sure to be filled with many more new adventures, a lot of love, laughter and happiness and almost certainly some heartbreak. Whatever this year brings, I’m heading into this new year with an open mind, an open heart, faith that God’s leading me to where I’m supposed to be… and wonderful friends and family to share this crazy journey with.

Cheers to 2014!