15 things I wish my 18 year old self would have known.

For a number of reasons, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking and reflecting over the past several weeks, and this piece has been a work in progress for a seemingly endless number of days now. Without sharing too much detail or background (and without really needing to), I’ve come up with this — a short start to a list of things I wish I had known sooner in life. Some of these would have served me well in high school, others are certainly better suited for my college self. And others are still things I find myself reflecting on and reminding myself of on a daily basis. Whatever you want to call it, I’ve had an overwhelming desire to share… 

1. Your parents are people too. They’re also full of wisdom and humor. Let them share what they know… at the end of the day, you don’t have to take their advice, but you’ll probably learn something really great about one or both of them that you didn’t know. Listen.

2. Mistakes will happen and no matter how bad they seem at the time, there’s always a light at the end of the tunnel. Oh, and it’s OK to ask for help from others. No matter what, just keep moving.

3. Men should not ever (EVER) define you. They can only do so if you let them.

4. Friendships change and grow. Sometimes you grow closer, and other times you grow apart. Both are good things and it’s important to embrace the change in these relationships. Just because you and a friend grow apart as you get older, that doesn’t discount the relationship you once had. Remember that.

5. There are different types of love. Recognize this, embrace the concept and appreciate ALL of the different types of love you have in your life.

6. It’s OK to say no. To taking on too much. To doing something you’re not ready for. To peer pressure… to whatever you feel like you need to say no to. You might feel embarrassed or unsure at the time, but it’s important to learn to trust your head and your heart. This will serve you well later in life.

7. Life really is short, and can change in an instant. This DOESN’T mean you’ve got a free pass to act like an idiot just because “you never know what’s right around the corner.” Embrace life and the people in it.

8. When you love someone, tell them. When someone makes you angry, tell them. When someone does something you appreciate, tell them. Say thank you and I love you too often. Really, just say what’s on your mind and say what you MEAN. Don’t leave things up for interpretation. It doesn’t usually end well.

9. Say yes more than you say no. It’s amazing what kind of opportunities open up in life when you just say yes.

10. Respect is a universal language.

11. Sometimes, slowing down is good. And necessary. Embrace this.

12. You cannot change and control everything. There’s chaos and total beauty in that. Own it, and know that sometimes you just have to let it go. 

13. People lie, and not everyone is always good. That doesn’t mean people are inherently bad, and trying to see and appreciate the best in people in life is much easier (and more fun, I think) than searching for the worst in people.

14. At some point in your life, someone you love is going to hurt you. Forgive them. Don’t forget what it taught you, but holding on to hurt and anger just continues to hurt you… and it’s exhausting.

15. Faith is an incredibly personal thing, and it’s OK to question where you stand as you grow and try to figure out who you are in life. Ask questions. Pray. Read. Ask more questions. Wherever you end up is your choice, and at the end of the day, that’s all that matters.