Faith

15 things I wish my 18 year old self would have known.

For a number of reasons, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking and reflecting over the past several weeks, and this piece has been a work in progress for a seemingly endless number of days now. Without sharing too much detail or background (and without really needing to), I’ve come up with this — a short start to a list of things I wish I had known sooner in life. Some of these would have served me well in high school, others are certainly better suited for my college self. And others are still things I find myself reflecting on and reminding myself of on a daily basis. Whatever you want to call it, I’ve had an overwhelming desire to share… 

1. Your parents are people too. They’re also full of wisdom and humor. Let them share what they know… at the end of the day, you don’t have to take their advice, but you’ll probably learn something really great about one or both of them that you didn’t know. Listen.

2. Mistakes will happen and no matter how bad they seem at the time, there’s always a light at the end of the tunnel. Oh, and it’s OK to ask for help from others. No matter what, just keep moving.

3. Men should not ever (EVER) define you. They can only do so if you let them.

4. Friendships change and grow. Sometimes you grow closer, and other times you grow apart. Both are good things and it’s important to embrace the change in these relationships. Just because you and a friend grow apart as you get older, that doesn’t discount the relationship you once had. Remember that.

5. There are different types of love. Recognize this, embrace the concept and appreciate ALL of the different types of love you have in your life.

6. It’s OK to say no. To taking on too much. To doing something you’re not ready for. To peer pressure… to whatever you feel like you need to say no to. You might feel embarrassed or unsure at the time, but it’s important to learn to trust your head and your heart. This will serve you well later in life.

7. Life really is short, and can change in an instant. This DOESN’T mean you’ve got a free pass to act like an idiot just because “you never know what’s right around the corner.” Embrace life and the people in it.

8. When you love someone, tell them. When someone makes you angry, tell them. When someone does something you appreciate, tell them. Say thank you and I love you too often. Really, just say what’s on your mind and say what you MEAN. Don’t leave things up for interpretation. It doesn’t usually end well.

9. Say yes more than you say no. It’s amazing what kind of opportunities open up in life when you just say yes.

10. Respect is a universal language.

11. Sometimes, slowing down is good. And necessary. Embrace this.

12. You cannot change and control everything. There’s chaos and total beauty in that. Own it, and know that sometimes you just have to let it go. 

13. People lie, and not everyone is always good. That doesn’t mean people are inherently bad, and trying to see and appreciate the best in people in life is much easier (and more fun, I think) than searching for the worst in people.

14. At some point in your life, someone you love is going to hurt you. Forgive them. Don’t forget what it taught you, but holding on to hurt and anger just continues to hurt you… and it’s exhausting.

15. Faith is an incredibly personal thing, and it’s OK to question where you stand as you grow and try to figure out who you are in life. Ask questions. Pray. Read. Ask more questions. Wherever you end up is your choice, and at the end of the day, that’s all that matters.

 

What are you most thankful for?

Tell yourself everyday at least three things that you love about yourself. See what it does to your mental state, your mood and just your overall attitude and approach to life.

Think about all of the things you have to be thankful for, and not just all of the things your hurt by, angry about or discouraged by.

Try going an entire day without complaining  — not even about the weather or the empty coffee pot in the break room. Tough, right? It’s damn near impossible.

Making a conscious decision to look at the positive things in life – to focus on all of the good that surrounds us each day – is difficult, but will do amazing things for your overall well-being. I dare you to try it.

Today, I’m thankful for my family (even though I don’t always let them know it) and my friends. Life is busy and hectic and we get distracted and I’m blessed to have friends all over the country who still make the time to nurture relationships. I’m thankful for my job and all of the opportunity it provides, and for the beautiful apartment that I call home. It’s not my own, per say, but it’s cozy and safe and finally feels like home.

What are you most thankful for today?

 

Love yourself, and be in love with the life you live.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve been someone who as done what she was supposed to and hasn’t stirred up trouble. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had fun and found my share of mischief (who hasn’t) but I’ve never felt like I’ve truly been able to just throw my reservations and fear of doing the wrong thing to the wind and just see what happens. I’ve also spent a lot of time lately feeling unsatisfied and restless… like something is missing in my life. I’ve spent even more time (and anger and tears) trying to figure out how to remedy those feelings.

 

I may never have all of the answers, and I’m sure I’ll continue to stumble as I try to sort through things. But here is my pledge to myself as I continue to try: stop doing what others say you should, and stop comparing where you are in your life with where you thought you would be or where others are. Stop worrying so much about doing the wrong thing and focus on finding and doing whatever it is that makes your heart sing with joy. Spend time and effort on those who love you and quit wasting time and tears on those who simply aren’t worth it. Have fun. Drink too much. Stay up to late. Date the wrong guys. Make mistakes and learn lessons. And above all else, love yourself and be in love with your life.

Career Changes

As I mentioned in a previous (and rather short) post, a LOT has changed in my life in the past several months. After a short stint as an IT recruiter, I realized how much I missed the challenges and creativity of PR and social media, and thus my job search was back on. Initially, my focus was on staying in Michigan (what can I say, I really DO love Detroit) and that’s where I focused my search for the first few weeks. Then, after much soul-searching and discussions with my family and beautiful friends (you know who you are), my search unexpectedly expanded to the Boston area, Chicago and Louisville (again).

You see, I left Louisville about three years ago and never had ANY intention of coming back. I was headed to the east coast and my plans included a great job in Burlington, long weekends spent in Boston or on the Cape, quick trips to NYC and gorging myself on lobster in Maine. After about two years and many major life changes (sensing a theme here?), I found my way back to Michigan and 10 months later, back in Louisville.

It’s funny how even the best laid plans can sometimes be run completely off track — and how that can be a beautifully disguised blessing.

So here I am again — this time working in social media for a national non-profit (a longtime dream of mine). I couldn’t have guessed even a year ago that I would be able to realize my dream so early in my career, and I am thankful every single day for all of the crazy events, heartbreak and hurt that have brought me to where I am today. I find myself challenged, inspired and excited every day, and thankful for the amazing variety of people that I work with and often not even feeling like I’m at work while I’m there.

The elusive “they” say that’s what it’s all about, right?

Big Changes…

Sadly, it’s been a while since I’ve had the time (or the motivation, quite frankly) to blog… and A LOT has changed since my last post.

I’m back in Louisville, took a new job (much more on that later — it’s AMAZING), found a stellar apartment (and am living on my own again) and have embarked on the next scary (and exciting) leg of this crazy journey.

What’s next? I’m not sure… but I do know that for the first time in many years, my heart is truly happy and I am incredibly excited to see what’s around the corner. I’ve also realized how blessed that I am to have SO many amazing people in my life. To my family, friends, co-workers and even a few random, kind strangers that have managed to play a part in the craziness of the past several months, THANK YOU. I cannot express how much love I have for each of you. ❤

Cheers to the New Year

Ok, hold tight… it’s been far longer than I’d like to admit since I’ve truly written. And it wasn’t until very recently that I realized how much I’ve missed it.

I’m not sure there has ever been a time in my life that I’ve felt like an “exceptional” writer… but writing has always been something that I’ve enjoyed, and has always provided a sense of creative freedom and escape that I found strength and comfort in.

2012 was a year of challenge and fighting to overcome adversity. And somewhere in that year, in the middle of struggles that I felt like I may never overcome, I stopped writing for a while. I stopped writing because someone told me I should. And in my very fragile state, and much like a fool, I listened.

In reflecting on the past year, and looking toward the next, I’ve spent a great deal of time thinking about what I like, and what I don’t like, about my life. What can I change? What can’t I change? How can I make myself a better person this year? How can I help others?

I’ve never been a big fan of resolutions (especially since I don’t know a single soul who has ever actually stuck to one), but this year I’m willing to give some sort of “resolution” a shot (note: I use that term very vaguely… I’d much prefer to call them simply, goals, or something of the like). This year, I’d like to:

  • Find a fabulous workout routine that I love and stick with it. I’m not shooting to drop ten pounds… but I’m tired of being tired, and feeling bad about the state that I’m in… and I’m even more tired of not doing anything about it.
  • Read more. When I walked away from my writing in 2012 (without intentionally doing so), I also seemed to walk away from my love of reading. Today I find myself feeling like I’ve lost more of myself than I had ever realized… and the idea of diving back in to the depths of a good story makes my soul smile.
  • Focus on friendship. Beautiful friendships and beautiful people can be difficult to come by. I’m blessed to have both in my life, and I want to spend more of my time and energy cultivating beautiful relationships. With that, comes my goal of letting go of those who shouldn’t be part of my life. I hate cutting ties and, aside from losing love, there’s not much worse (in my opinion) than losing friendship. I’ve changed dramatically, and so have many of those in my life, and with change sometimes comes loss. Holding on is hurting me more than letting go ever could. So this year, I say “goodbye” to a few…
  • Volunteer more. Because it just feels good to do something for someone else every once in a while.
  • Focus on the positive (because that just feels good, too).

There’s a laundry list of other things I’d like to work on… and the way I see it, life (and me) are ever-changing. For now, I’d like to take it slow and focus on one day at a time, one step at a time and hope to forge some great new friendships along the way, enhance those I already have, smile much more than I cry, and hope to have some pretty fabulous stories to share along the way.

2012 may not have been my year… but I think 2013 will be.

xoxo